04 ❂ Hydra

[absentconstellation]

[ For whatever reason, Pounce has chosen to make this post while lying on top of a file. It isn't evident from the video whose file it is, though that will become apparent in a moment. It does kind of look like he found it and immediately decided it was a bed, though. ]

I have evidently been entrusted with Arthas' file. Given the circumstances, however, I believe it is safe to assume that I will not be taking the role of his permanent warden. None the less, until I am told otherwise I shall consider myself responsible for him as though I were.

I presume you are still free of the Lich King, Arthas. So long as you do not try my patience I will keep my claws to myself.

Comments

[absentconstellation]

[ Excuse you, his cat magic is awesome beyond compare. ]

Of course. I imagine I shall have to follow him everywhere he goes, though.

[ He just really doesn't want to do that. Stars, but his life is so hard. ]

[babyfacedkiller]

Well, somebody's gotta do it. I'd say it'd be easier if you got together a few people and took turns watching him, but that ain't my call to make.

You got the claws to handle him?

[absentconstellation]

I thank you for your concern, but I am quite able to watch him all hours of the day.

[babyfacedkiller]

What about sleep? I thought cats love to nap.

[absentconstellation]

I am a constellation. I can nap and watch at the same time.

[ Giving a strange new meaning to the phrase 'sleeping on the job'. ]

[babyfacedkiller]

That's a useful skill to have, I guess.

[But he looks pretty seriously confused.]

What do you mean, you're a constellation? Of stars?

[absentconstellation]

Precisely.

[babyfacedkiller]

[...]

Sure look like a cat, though.

[absentconstellation]

I am a cat.

[ He's a constellation... of a cat! ]

[babyfacedkiller]

[He can feel a headache coming on.]

But a constellation is made of stars.

You got fur, and claws, and whiskers.

[Neither of which are stars, to the best of Lloyd's knowledge.]

[absentconstellation]

Very astute.

[ It would only be worse if he tried to actually explain. ]

[babyfacedkiller]

[He sighs, about ready to give up.]

I never even heard of a cat constellation.

A Big Dipper and a Little Dipper, but no cat.

[absentconstellation]

Of course not. I'm not there. I'm here.

[babyfacedkiller]

Right, 'course you are.

Well, I'll tell you, buddy, the talkin' raccoon was a lot easier to swallow.

[absentconstellation]

He was a creature of your own Mortal Realms. I am an immortal of the Divine Realms.

[babyfacedkiller]

Something like a god?

[absentconstellation]

I am not nearly so foolish as a God.

[ But yes, basically. ]

[babyfacedkiller]

Well, good for you. Those guys, I bet they have their heads so far up their own asses it's no wonder the world's in such crappy shape.

[Lloyd doesn't know shit about gods, or godlike beings. He just has a vague notion of a God, and he doesn't like him very much.]

[absentconstellation]

They care very little for the affairs of the Mortal Realms.

[ They all think he's a weirdo for caring so much. ]

[babyfacedkiller]

Yeah, it shows.

You do, though?

[absentconstellation]

I find mortal life fascinating. Your very mortality drives you to be so much more than you are.

[babyfacedkiller]

And then we end up dead, anyway.

Those of us who don't end up here, I mean.

[absentconstellation]

Yes, [ he says sadly, ] the Black God takes each of us in turn.

[babyfacedkiller]

Well, if you're made of stars, I bet your lifespan is a bit longer than the average housecat's.

[absentconstellation]

A bit, yes. [ There's amusement in his voice. He's not truly immortal, only effectively so. ]