absentconstellation

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

absentconstellation

I would expect nothing less from you, Davesprite.

[ You make him proud, you... weird, orange bird thing, you. ]

From:

mrcreamsicles

What, did I leave that strong of an impression? Or do you just expect that out of everyone?

[He's a disaster verging on an even greater existential crisis than usual, but that doesn't stop their situation from sucking. People deserve better than this.]

From:

absentconstellation

I have walked among humans for centuries. I am a very good judge of character.

From:

mrcreamsicles

And you got that from a weird orange kid who fell on his ass, mumbled a lot of nonsense, and carried your bag a couple days?

[There is a kind of disbelieving note to his tone.]

From:

absentconstellation

[ He makes a noncommittal noise.

He reads the network, okay. ]

From:

mrcreamsicles

[Of course. Davesprite gives his tablet a flat look, then asks,]

You been stalking my posts, Meow Mix?

[It was the next guess on the list.]

From:

absentconstellation

A cat sees what a cat sees.

[ That's a 'yes'. ]

From:

mrcreamsicles

I lived with a talking princess cat for three years. Y'all are nosy little shits.

From:

absentconstellation

We are fine creatures indeed.

[ He ain't bovvered. ]

From:

mrcreamsicles

I bet Rose would like you if she were here. She's the one who owned that cat before, and metaphysical nonsense is her jam. The both of you could have yourselves a whole two-person convention on who can talk the most jibberish about pretentious bullcrap nobody cares about, with a side order of chin scritches and cat hair everywhere.

[He does not want Rose to ever have to deal with Norfinbury, but he misses her a lot sometimes.]

From:

absentconstellation

I would much prefer a nice nap.

[ Spoilers: most of what he does here is nap. ]

From:

mrcreamsicles

[Davesprite snorts.]

Lazy. But if that's your way of telling me you want to hit the snooze button, I can let you go. Just wanted to check in.

From:

absentconstellation

Not at all. If I did not wish to speak to you, I would not.

[ Cats: surprisingly polite, and surprisingly rude. ]

From:

mrcreamsicles

Huh.

[He'll take the politeness, unexpected though it is.]

Can't say I'm used to chatting with a cat like this. Jaspersprite wasn't real intellectual, you know? About like talking to Dug, except a cat, and sometimes he tried to chase me because what's a ship full of animal people if they don't do stupid animal stuff sometimes. You get a bird boy, a cat, and a girl with dog ears together, and the shenanigans are basically inevitable. Especially if the cat's also got tentacles and everyone can phase through walls.

But hey, what was your world like? Consorting with gods and mortals alike is pretty impressive, but it doesn't actually tell me a lot.

From:

absentconstellation

I do not know enough about your world to judge what might be of interest to you.

From:

mrcreamsicles

And I know, like, nothing about yours to ask.

[Hm. There is a kind of shuffling sound as he settles down somewhere in the house he's currently in.]

Earth itself was super mundane. We had technology, but not on this level. Just a bunch of humans doing normal human stuff without magic or spirits or alchemy or whatever other weird stuff people have got. Then my friends and I started playing this game called Sburb, and everything got weird all at once because we got transported into this other part of reality and had big fancy quests to go on with these themed planets, and monsters to fight, and fancy systems for making new equipment, and a whole bunch of other video game nonsense except directly in real life. You ever been on a whole planet made of lava and gears? I wouldn't recommend it. And then I was a time traveler, and then a sprite, and I spent the last three years on a golden ship flying through a weird green void. It's kinda hard to sum down which things are weird how, y'know?

From:

absentconstellation

[ The key points he's getting here are technology, magic, time and inter-dimensional travel. Okay. ]

The Earth with which I am familiar runs primarily on magic and technology achieved through systems of pulleys and manual labor. Lesser immortals once roamed the mortal realms freely, but some 250 years ago human mages conspired to build a barrier between the worlds, locking all of the immortals they could find in the divine realms. Since then magic has been less common in the mortal realms, and mages are in high demand for a number of jobs.

Of course, I have traveled through many realms, but I am fond of mortals.

From:

mrcreamsicles

Yeah, see, we had tablets sorta like this, a little less advanced, but not the nanomachines or AIs or that force field in the one video people unlocked a while back. So more than you guys did, from the sound of it.

Rose got into magic once the game started, but I don't think she had anything on that level. Locking up immortals in other planes of existence sounds like some high level shit, you know? She could blow things up real good, and she talked to the horrorterrors, but that was different.

But then she and my other friends all basically became gods anyway. There's this thing called god tier where a player gets their power level jacked up and conditional immortality, plus there was the whole thing where we were supposed to make a new universe to live in. So it's kind of hard to get impressed about people claiming they served gods and whatever. Like yeah, dude, so did I, and you don't see me flaunting it. They're just people. And the whole divinity aspect kind of falls apart when you know the guys that made your own universe are just dumbass internet trolls.

From:

absentconstellation

Yes, it required a dozen of the highest ranking mages in the Eastern and Southern Lands. It was an impressive feat. I suppose I can see why the Great Gods allowed it.

But I would never serve so foolish a set of masters, nor have I much interest in their affairs. To them mortals are no more than pawns on a chessboard. Less, because they are so numerous and so many are insignificant in the grand scheme.

From:

mrcreamsicles

[A brief, quiet pause.]

That's kind of fucked up.

Can't blame you, though. So, like, thanks for not being a dick about us mortal types.

From:

absentconstellation

[ Yes, it is pretty fucked up. ]

You are welcome. I find your kind quite entertaining.

From:

mrcreamsicles

Aw yeah, better put that down on my official list of accreditations. Freaky immortal space cat thinks I'm entertaining. That's gotta count for something, right? Can I turn it in for tokens at the transuniversal arcade? I'm aiming for the big prize.